对不起，我自己。

对不起，我从没有想过你先。
对不起，在我的心里，你永远会是最后的。
对不起，不管你劝了，告诉了，警告了，我还是不听。
对不起， 你以尽量要保护我，我还是不相信你。
对不起， 我那么的固执。
对不起， 我希望我还要留在黑暗里。
对不起， 我真的放不下。
对不起， 我的潜意识。
对不起，我自己。

Memories, God Damned Memories.

I know it's been awhile eversince I've stopped blogging, but because I am always occupied by things like, Assignments, Studies, Stuff, and Games, most probably it's Games.
Anyway, I know I've been repeating the same topic and title for millions or even trillions times, but I just never grew bored of it, everytime I've heard, seen, or smell things that are nostalgic, it'll remind me back my past. Make it Miserable School Life back in Primary School and Middle School, Boring High School or even Awesome University Life back in HELP, though Life in UCTI now is quite happy and I shouldn't look back into the past, but this isn't a simple thing to be done.
Alot things in UCTI had happened and make me realized how much I miss the life having Roommates in 4-11 room, though things don't really work out that much now between my Roommate and his Girlfriend, but still, I would wish that one day that both of them would get back together and I would like to hang out again with them. I misses the time I played HoN with them, though we lose alot of games back then, but it was fun having a girl to play with us and she'll get mad if we order her around and my roommate will go and comfort her. All those funny things that happened in such a tiny, yet memorable room.
But I should've know it myself that such day would come and the past will never repeat themselves anymore, I do regret it alot because I did not enjoy every single bit of my life back then in HELP. In fact, I actually did feel very sad the moment I'll have to leave the room because I am not a HELP student anymore.

How I wish everything would go back to the days, but it would never happen again. Better look forward instead.

Overanalyze.

Been listening alot to "Avril Lavgine - Keep Holding On", and also the cover of her song made by Glee. I don't know why but nowadays I realized that I've really needed to keep holding on in my life. Everything in my life seems to be falling apart, and if I don't keep holding onto it, I am pretty sure that it will fall apart afterward and I will not like a single bit of it. The reason why I am saying this will be mentioned in my Diary.

Anyway, I've always thought that I shouldn't be considering so many people as my "Best Friends" because I am that kind of person that will never wanted to face the truth of people telling me into their face that I am nothing but just a usual friend to them. But sometimes the feeling cannot be avoided because I do have a few friends whom, does gives me that feeling that they are the friend material that I will always try to stick more onto them compare to those that I didn't. Despite the fact that there are people who gives me the feeling that they are friend material, there are also friends that will gives me the feeling that they will later, betray or will do something that I am not satisfied with feeling, which I will always avoid them no matter what. Anyway, the worst thing is that when I got friends that one is a friend whom I thought to have Friend Material, while another gives me the feeling that I'll get Betrayed sooner or later. That's the reason why I've always avoided this two friends, because for me, I'll rather not to stay with a friend that gives me the betraying feeling, than keeping myself in the group.

Although I should've feel lonely and stuff because I've left them, I've found myself a group of new friends, okay, actually not new, I suddenly wanted to join them because I found out that they all gives me the feeling of Friend Material. And it's very true, because I myself consider both of them to be the only two Best Friends I had in APIIT/UCTI.

In Five Years.

Everyday when I wake up, I'll always ask myself, what do I see myself in Five years starting today. As always, the answer is never changed, being a Musician. Despite the fact that I didn't practice much on my Drumming or Guitar, which I suck at, it's my dream that I wanted to be a Full Time Musician, from playing Gags whenever I am available to the extend of having my own Band and become famous like Avenged Sevenfold or at least Maroon 5.

But problem is that, I don't think that this is what I am really is when I look into 5 years for now, I think I'll just be a simple programmer working in either a small company or a really big ones and a guy that simple go to work everyday and pay for my bills. But despite the truth had come slapping down into my face when I think of this, I've always wanted a Drumset myself and at least Jam with my friends to experiences the fun of being in a Band.

Problem now is, I don't think getting a Drumset would be somewhere near this year because I couldn't save up any money since 87% of my allowances is used on Petrol, Tolls and lastly, to pay for my Drumming Fees. I've only left with 13% for my personal uses, I don't think I could really save up that way. Moreover, my parents did promised to get me one before August, but since they've already got my a house and as a son, I've already know that they're using expenses more than profit, I don't think I should remind them that I needed a Drumset myself.

In addition, I've been thinking this for a while, should I or should I not drop learning Drumming because I'll get more money to spend and I get to save up some money myself.

Thanks for getting my Nerves on.

Alot of things has been happening ever since this semester happens, got closer with my friends in UCTI, at least it's way better compare previous semester. Moreover, it's damn great because the last semester is over, at least it went in a way where I got pass for most of my subjects. When I say most, means there are some interferences for my Result, in which, previous semester, there is this ONE particular fella DID NOT hand in the assignment in time, causing my group and I to have to get the EC form and gone through all these trouble and till now I got no idea whether if I have to Re-Do that stupid assignment or not.

Anyway, the main point of this post is that, I can't stand that fella at all. I mean, I tried really hard not to talk to him and to avoid him, yet he still comes and keep telling me stuff that I am not interested into, which is whether I get Marginal Fail for the Subject or a Pass or a Fail for the subject, skip those Explanation and tell me whether I'll have to redo or not. And, have I not been obvious enough where I am trying to show you that I DON'T WANT to talk to you at all? Please next time when you come to me, just summarize everything and tell me the result, not whether I'll get this or not or what the admin staff tell me.

Also, whenever this fella gets into the class and sits in the same row or somewhere near me or when there is breaks and he gets into the class I am having my breaks with my friends, I feel like asking him to go away, or I wanted to go away. But if I do so, my friends would think that I am like a kid who couldn't forgive others, or my friends might hate me for that because they didn't really know what's going on. In addition, I don't mind if others giving me opinions on what I should do and what I shouldn't, but I DO MIND if that fella gives me such opinion. Moreover, I'll STOP TALKING/LAUGHING/SMILING/IDKWHATEVERHAPPYTHINGSYOUCANTHOUGHTOF whenever I saw him starting talking to my fwens that I am talking to or whenever he suddenly comes into the conversation. I am pretty sure I MADE IT DAMN OBVIOUS.

So, to conclude, DON'TTALKTOMEANYMOREIDON'TWANTTOREPLYNORIWANTEDTOTALKTOYOUANYMORE.

There, I've already embarrassed myself when I even posted this, because this post is very Childish but I am pretty sure people will reads it and someday, you will as well. I won't say it right into your face to embarrass myself infront of others, while embarrassing myself here is okay because not much people reads it. I hope you will be able to read this one day and please, don't let it happens again.

Iceroom? Iceroom.

It's been awhile since I've last updated. Been going to Iceroom for quite sometimes and apparently someone in plurk asked me to post about it. And here it is, a simple post about the almighty Iceroom. Anyway, being a non photography me, I only took one picture which is totally relevant, and bad quality as well. Since it's requested by Miss Crystal, I'll still post it anyway.

Anyway, the Iceroom that I've been is located in Kota Damansara. Been going to that place alot just to avoid paying another RM 1.60 toll and most importantly, there are tons of food to eat over that place, and yes, I've been eating alot nowadays, but what to do? Been starving myself since morning and I only get to eat at night, and that's just for one meal, so I'll just have to spend whatever I've saved and eat whatever I want at night.

Moreover, it's a dessert restaurant, where it's all about Desserts which is made of Ice? I don't really know what does it called, but it's damn freaking nice, tried a few of them, like Yam, Strawberry, Mango and DURIAN, damn I love Durian, and why is the word Durian is covered with red lines? O_O! In addition, they also put toppings on the Ice to make it taste even better, okay, maybe I like it because they put chocolate sprinkle onto the ice, which really makes me very TEMPTED to eat it, can you imagine? It's CHO-CO-LATE!

I know it's Dark, it's Ugly, it's Unbearable, It's I-Can't-See-Anything, It's OMGWHATTHEFUCKISTHIS, It's MAKINGMESICK, It's BADPOSITION, It's Unappealing, It's YOUSUCKATTAKINGPICTURES and Etc. Like I said earlier, I suck at taking picture, so just bear with it. Anyway, I can still see with my eyes, which I am short-sighted, so I am pretty sure you people who reads this can see this as well, especially those who are not short-sighted. Anyway, the picture is the Ice for Yam, which it is damn nice, or maybe it's just me because you can't imagine how much I love to eat Yam. O_O! Anyway, The dessert is damn nice, but not their food. Had tried their Wan Ton Mee, and the best part of the food is the plate they use to put the food on. Fried Chicken Rice, the best part is the Boneless Chicken, and lastly, Fried Rice, best part is the soup. Have you realized all of those that I mentioned has no relation to the food? Because the food there sucks, only dessert is good.

Despite the fact that their food sucks, their dessert really makes the worth going all the way from Bukit Jalil to Kota Damansara just to taste their dessert.

Anyway, on last note, took this image when my O.D.T? I don't remember what's the term for that. Anyway, it reaches a specific number that caught my attention.

Everything that I do, is never good enough for you. Do my best dress to impress, wear my heart out on my chest.

Have not been blogging for like months already, alright, it's because I am too obsessed with gaming in my whole holiday and going out and totally forgot that I actually has a blog. Anyway, the title has nothing to do with what I am going to write, it just sounds nice. It's by Forever the Sickest Kids, which the song name is What do you want from me, here is the video in Youtube,

But yeah, nowadays people don't really impressed by what I did, it's like, what the fuck do you want me to do? I've already done my best, put out all my effort, yet it's still not enough for you!? Bahh, let's move one.

Alot of things had happened in my Holiday, it's not just great, it's awesome. Been going to CC alot with Gandhi, playing HoN with him is not just fun, but fucking fun. I mean, even if we lost, I wouldn't be pissed at him and stuff eventhough he is the one that made us lose, nor he'll mad at me when I choose "Ophelia". I've also been going out with CJ, Shyuan Mey and Aaron for Karaoke in Red Box, in Midvalley. Yes, I hated Mid Valley, but I still go anyway, chances to go out with friends back from previous College aren't as easy when you all are studying in the same College, so I'll just go whenever I had the chance to. Anyway, Red Box was nice for their music selection, I mean, there are tons of selection for English Song, even those odd one that you though wouldn't be on the list DOES appear on the list, you probably would know which artist I am talking about. That place was overall okay IF you don't mind having little friends being all around you, they loved us alot, and CJ has to get them out of the room for a few times, yet more little friends came out and play with us. O_O! Anyway, also gone out with Crystal, Foong Vai and Qianyun as well, watched Pirates of the Caribbean, it was damn nice, maybe because of Johnny Depp and Penélope Cruz, okay, I must admit, Penelope's Spanish Slang really turns me on. On that outing, I also saw Nigel with his sister, this world is really damn small. LOLX! Saw a Spongebob Shirt, so tempting to get, but too bad, belly was not being nice, the shirt is too short for me, else I would be wearing one by now. Guess it's time to eat less and on diet again. Lastly, I always been out to CC with Chaur Yang as well, although he will be busy playing with his game and I play mine, but while waiting for his game to patch, we actually played two rounds of Left for Dead 2, it was fun, but being an ass like myself, I would be busy accomplishing the goal rather than sticking with my teammates which often lead to our failure and he was yelling at me all the time. :/. But it was still fun, we should've play more next time. Overall, the Holiday was damn awesome, thanks to you guys that make my Holiday this fun, and because of this, you guys made me smile. :)!

Lastly, heard this song on the radio, and it's damn nice, although it's kinda stupid because she kept repeating the same words over and over, but it's still nice for me though. It's by Colbie Caillat, damn she's hot. :B